So, at a time when I am feeling a bit overwhelmed and bummed with all the school work, the rain, my birthday and mother's day it was really cool to get an unexpected gift.

Danny and I went over to cut the grass (which is growing like crazy with all this rain) there were 3 plastic Easter eggs there. I was debating about what to do with them when Danny asked if there was anything in them. I thought no, then I shook one and found there were letters in them!

I cannot tell you how wonderful it was to read them. The fact that these kids and their family took the time to write the letters, put them in eggs and bring them to the cemetery was so super sweet. The best part for me though was knowing Jed was being thought of and talked about and remembered. Nothing makes me happier than knowing people are still thinking of him. The letters were sweet. Thank you girls. They are so lovely. Needless to say we all have sobbed over them. Great birthday gifts for me :)

This is my birthday gift from Danny...it's as close to that little bitty real dog as I am going to get! It's a baby Snoopy. I am going to carry him in my purse. Savannah gave me awesome note cards. I love them, they are very fancy looking.

Tomorrow we are going to Mom and Dad's for fried chicken and all the goodies...yum. The Mac is coming...she is the entertainment. We get dinner and a show :)

Well I think that is it. No rants today....just good stuff. Now back to my research paper...then I have another big one and 3 other papers. Yay....waiting for Danny to win the lottery...hurry.

Baby Jed, everyday is just so hard. I think of all you endured to be here with me and I know I have to keep going. I want you here but I would never ever wish you back to what you had to live through. I will stay here, missing you but knowing you are finally living the life you deserve. I have read that where you are there is no real time and that a lifetime here is just a moment there. So I will be with you in a moment. My heart breaks over and over trying to live without you.
Mommy Loves You...
Love J & K

I don't talk about politics much on here, I have many friends and family that feel differently than me. BUT this issue is so ridiculous and so sad and sickening that I think most would agree. Our president should never ever have had to "show his papers". Never, in the history of our country, has there been such a stupid and ridiculous issue. You know why? because never in the history of our country have we had a president that is not white. The racism is so blatantly obvious that I cannot see how anyone can realistically argue that point. Now that self serving, egotistical, big mouth Trump is calling for the President's college transcripts???? I am so disgusted and sad that with all the things going on in our country and the world this is what is being talked about. I know trump is talking about it and taking credit for the "papers" being shown because he has no class and certainly is as far from "presidential" as one could get ..even Newt is better....ugh shiver.. ugh. Ok birther crazy people....give it up..it's over, the BLACK man that is the president is an AMERICAN...yes your president is BLACK suck it up and deal with it. It's 2011..not 1811 or even 1911 or hell even 197o. I won't sit here and compare our current President's achievements and credentials with our past president's or Trump's because really I know everyone already knows the huge difference. ok, anyway...I think I am finished with this now. Everyone got the memo right? Barack Obama, his wife and both of his children are AMERICAN...get over it.

I love both of my kids more than life and they make me proud everyday but one of the best qualities my children hold is their knowledge that color, religion, ethnicity, sexual orientation or any other perceived difference does not make a person better or worse than another. They both were born with smart, accepting souls, their complete lack of bias on this issue is right at the top of the list of things about my kids that make me most proud.

(just don't be slow or act incapable for no reason around Savannah...she will take you down) :)

Beautiful people.....Beautiful souls.....


Ok, I think I am finished with my rant. Yes I know there are some of you that have issues with what I have said....consider your objection duly noted.

So...2 weeks left in this semester....hurry...hurry lets get this over with. 2 research papers, an answer to a complaint and 3 finals left.....

Missing you baby Jed. Just really, really missing you....
Mommy Loves you..so so much
Love J & K

Wow, it has been a few days. So, what has been happening?
Friday afternoon Mom, Savannah and I went to see my grandmother. She laughed the whole time. She was telling a story about a lifetime friend of hers coming to visit. They sat outside on a bench. I know this friend has not been there and Gram has not been outside since she went to this place. I asked her if this man's wife was with him...I was testing her. She looked at me for a long minute, then she said, "No, Janet is dead." I said "oh yes she is, you are correct." Gram's response? "I usually am correct." again....she is correct :)
Friday eve we went to mom and dad's to eat pizza and watch Livi-Mac decorate eggs...

My donation to the eggs :)
Saturday was the Mac's birthday party. It was cold and damp earlier in the afternoon..we were all a bit worried about the weather. I helped wipe down the patio furniture and Danny and Kyle got to put the little trampoline together whoohoo. :)

The party was a hit. The puppet, magic show guy was great.

a little follow the leader..
The Mac was lovin' it


The face painter worked overtime..

Meg and Jase

Lots of little kids everwhere...Jed's drum set, that has been handed down to Livi-Mac, was a HUGE hit...I moved it to the middle of the driveway :)


Old friends came to visit....


and new friends were made....

That is the Fab Jett Towsen Sheely JTS :)


Aunt Andra and Colin Oliver Morgan ..so very cute

We had cake and cupcakes....


There was kite flying and lots of giggling....


We had super heroes...


and heroes in training...


It was a fun day. Not having my Jeddie was, as always, overwhelmingly painful. I usually try to just pretend he is there, in another room or outside. The problem with that are the times when I walk around and look for him...reality sucks.

Friday, Livi's actual birthday, after the cleaning lady had left Tiersa was getting Liv dressed for bed. The house was clean, freshly vacuumed, she opened the PJ drawer, got out the Pj's. Closed the drawer and right there on the floor was a quarter. :0 Happy Birthday Livi-Mac.

Saturday, like I told you, was cold and damp, they called for rain and chilly temps. Well, Jed was having none of that. The skies broke open, the sun came out and it was nice and warm....a beautiful day......I expected nothing less.

So this weekend my Grandmother turned 89 and Livi-Mac turned 3...big weekend!

Today Danny and I went for a ride...it was so nice out. We then went to the cemetery and trimmed the grass. It was starting to look neglected. Everywhere else the grass is patchy and brown. Our area? the grass was sticking up all over and nice and green. It looks so much better now. all prettied up.
Spent the later afternoon at Mom and Dad's..Easter dinner...YUM....Danny and I picked up A, and Savannah and I took her home. She looks FAB!! Yesterday she drove to Livi's party! She is 88 :)
SO that was out busy weekend. I have research papers to write (3) and 2 other papers...I did nothing. Guess I will be busy in the morning. I worked on another set of puffy, magnetic letters....for my Chunka Love. Livi gets my proto-types...poor thing. She is my guinea pig. :)

Anyway. now this long post is almost finished. I better try to sleep I guess.




I still have a very hard time understanding that my Jeddie is not here....not in the way that I can touch him, hang out with him and be his mommy. Sometimes I look at pictures and it seems impossible that I am without him...but I am. This truth is so so sad. It just shreds me to little pieces.
Jeddie my love, I am missing you more than ever. Your sweet face, and funny comments, your fantastic smile and our constant togetherness. I miss everything, every second.
My lettuce is growing...we never grew lettuce...wonder how it will be. I guess I will plant some other things too...we'll see. Nothing is the same without you. Thanks for the sunshine on Saturday.
Mommy Loves You....forever
Love J & K

Hey all, I am doing some promoting for people I love in this post.........
Frugal Interior Design - Achieving Smart Style
http://www.frugal-interior-design.com/about.html
This is Johnny....Grace and Jim's Johnny and the above link is his website...it is so pretty! Love you Johnny :) Check it out please!!!!


And next is for Amy Dietz and her friend Kim...they have a cool website/store...so check this out too.....

http://www.theprimitiveblacksheep.com/

I don't have a picture for this store but their stuff is so cute and they make most of it!!! We love the Dietz clan :)


Amy, D.J. & Jeddie
I think that is Johnny in the background of this pic..how funny!

I am missing my sweet, funny, smart mouthed friend, every second. It is almost 16 months and it feels like 16 days. Actually in a lot of ways it is much worse now....but...it is what it is I guess.

The last couple of weeks and the next few are busy ones. The end of the spring semester is a pain. Lots of projects and papers due.
Friday we are going to see Ma-B, it is her birthday on Saturday. Livi-Mac's birthday is Friday...we are celebrating on Saturday..that is kind of backwards! Sunday is dinner at mom and dad's.

I have a bunch of school stuff that I am supposed to be doing. Instead I am doing things that are a bit useless...but way more fun than school stuff.....

Puffy, magnetic alphabet letters and a bag to keep them in...more fun than case briefs and complaints.

That is about all from here.
The paypal buttons to buy crab feed tickets & luncheon tickets are on the right side at the top. Everything is shaping up pretty good for the feed. It is now BYOB :) I hope we have a good turn-out. June 25th...we hope to see many familiar faces and meet some new ones too!
The Foundation is in the last stage of being officially official! We finally got all of our paperwork back for our 501(c)3 form. That form now has to be filed with the IRS.....at a cost of $850! Good God. So buy some bracelets and come to the feed!!!! To buy bracelets please go to the JTS Foundation Blog. The link is on the right at the top.
If you cannot make it to the crab feed that's ok, come to the luncheon. There will be awesome people, great music, yummy food, cool raffle prizes and fantastic silent auction items. Come see us...August 27th...put it on your calender! We are still accepting items for the auction and the raffle!

Love you sweet potato. I will see the big bad Jett Towsen Sheely on Saturday....also Colin Oliver Morgan....2 baby boys...oh how happy you would be to be holding them! I know you are keep a close eye on them though. I am sure Saturday will be crazy with all The Mac's friends running around. Yes I am making "doubled eggs"...they are the only thing I am qualified to make! I miss you baby Jed.
Mommy Loves You...
Love J & K

Mini-THON Weekend
Savannah makes an appearance at almost all the local Mini-THONs, to encourage and show support. Usually Jared goes with her...they are quite a team. They talk about their siblings and they discuss Red Lion's mini-THON. This weekend Jared had his prom (yeah likely excuse)....so I went with Savannah to 2 mini-THONS. Poor Savannah! She spoke at Eastern's, I stood behind her...and said nothing. At Spring Grove all the 4 Diamonds families went onto stage and introduced themselves....of course Savannah spoke...I stood there and said nothing..seeing a pattern?? Except for Red Lion's Mini-THON I don't go to them. Without Jed I feel like there is no reason for me to be there, but I'm glad I did this weekend. I am not any help nor do I add anything but she didn't have to drive alone in the rain and I bought McDonalds. Spring Grove was great because there were other families there that I hadn't seen in awhile and I got to see the Copes.



Still, it was way harder than I really thought it would be. Jed LOVED mini-THON. He considered Red lion's HIS mini-THON. This was just hard. He would have had such a great time. Lots of other boys there to run around and play with. His absence, for me, was overwhelming. I did have fun though. and God knows Jay and Tam can understand what I am feeling. This was Jaz's Mini-THON and her picture was everywhere. Spring Grove honored her well. Their total was over $43,000!



At one point there was a tornado warning. Jay and I decided that we would stand at the front doors and save everyone....kind of an inside joke....we know, as parents of children that have died we are going to be on this earth for freakin' ever. So we figured if we stood in front of the doors and waited for the tornado it would never come...we were right.


That's us...wearing our "thumbies" & protecting Spring Grove from the tornado. We rocked that job.

So that was yesterday. We left here about 1:30 and didn't get home until 10. It's good that we stayed later than we had planned because there was flooding and extremely high winds...not sure if there was a tornado or not.

Friday, the day I had a conference most of the day,....how official does that sound? "I had a conference"....ooooo, professional...yeah right. It went ok actually. I am glad I went, I learned a lot AND as things work in my twisted world, the paralegal that I sat with at lunch (she gave a presentation) has a daughter that battled cancer..yes her child battled cancer. Her daughter was in her 20's when she was diagnosed with hodgkins. She finished treatments a couple of years ago and is doing well. This woman was so thrilled because her daughter, a few months ago, gave birth to a little girl. They did not think she would be able to have kids after the treatments...the little girl's name is Hope. I'm not sure why the universe made sure I met her..but she is a very nice lady.
Today, I corrected my Civil Lit complaint, worked on my resume...(hahaha) and I finished my puffy, magnetic alphabet letters...don't ask. I'll post a picture at a later date.
Danny is busy busy selling guitars and recording equipment. He has discovered Craig's list....it is working great for him.
Right now I am supposed to be writing a paper for English and making notes for my debate in logic....I am doing neither. I am SO tired of writing for this English class....ugh....I have a little less than a month left in this semester...thank god. BUT my summer classes start about a week after this semester ends...woohoo.
Ok, that's all for now....I think.

Jeddie my love, the missing is so so big...as always. When I am with a bunch of parents that have kids running around I feel so completely pointless. I feel like the only person without a young child.....it sucks. Tucker Haas' mom said I can borrow him!!! He is such a funny kid. I remember the first time I saw him at THON. He was so small. I said to you, "oh Jed that little boy is very very sick", you were so sad about it but you said, "I think he will be fine." Well he seems pretty fine. I miss you lovey.
Mommy Loves You...forever
Love J & K

If it was at all possible Jed was more excited this day than Savannah!



This was the day Savannah got her first car. Thank you Nana and Pappaw! I can say first car because this evening Nana and Pappaw bought Savannah her second car!!! I don't have any pictures yet she picks it up on Monday. It is the same car, a silver Jetta, but it is fresher and newer with more parts....kinda how I'd like to be if I could afford surgery. Anyway, it's very very cool and as far as I'm concerned very well deserved. All the stuff Savannah has had to live through and deal with she has not used it as an excuse to slack, get in trouble or give up. She has taken it all and used it to propel herself forward instead. I am very proud...I wish I could have bought her a car but...I can't so I am glad Nana and Pappaw did. Welp, that's what we did today.


aahhh, 2007, those were the days......


Here is a little story about me in my Family Law class last night...hhmm it might even be a good example of why I am not able to buy Savannah a car....

Law Prof: What does Mary have? (asking for the number of felonies)
Me: A little Lamb
Prof. and class: silence......
Yup could be a reason I am not all that professionally successful. At least I didn't sing "a little lamb, little lamb, Mary had a ...."

I will have to try to keep a lid on all that quick wit tomorrow. I am spending the day at school for a paralegal conference...yeehaw, sounds like a rip roaring good time...but there will be no singing nursery rhymes....I must keep my sarcastic and extremely witty self under control. To make the day even more fun...I have to dress like a grown up with a job...not the kinda job where you wear steel toe boots and jeans, like a real office kind of job...no Uggs, no Keens, no Converse...sigh.....I have one pair of pants that are not jeans or capris...thanks dad. He bought me a nice pair of "dress pants" quite some time ago...guess I better rip the tags off those babies. I suppose I cannot wear a t-shirt and hoodie either....big sigh. "those" kind of clothes AND I have to socialize and participate...shit.
Guess I better go to bed because the best part of this incredible day?? I have to get up at 5:30 am. yay and yes I am well aware that most people do this everyday...I don't care.

Dressed for success...


Good night baby Jed, get ready we have a conference to go to tomorrow...yes you are coming too...wear your suit.
Mommy Loves you...always
Love J & K

Happy Birthday D.J.
Officially a teenager!!!







We Love You

Jeddie, I know you have been with DJ today and I am sure you are helping him celebrate.
I miss you baby Jed. I miss you, I miss you, I miss you. There is no way I could say it enough to make anyone understand. I hate this, I do not want this. This is NOT the life I want and the thing is, it never will be now. Oh Jed. This sucks. I try very hard everyday to get up and live this life....it's a lot of work. Of course I think of all the crap you lived through and I know I have to just keep getting up whether I want to or not. Ugh..
Ok, enough whining.
Mommy Loves you ....forever
Love J & K
Keep looking out for Eli....his birthday was yesterday!!! 15..wow.

Sooo, well this weekend seemed to disappear. Tomorrow is supposed to be almost 80. I am heavily debating a day of hookie. I flipped a coin (quarter) thanks for the idea Emma !! But in true Kristin fashion..I kind of screwed it up. I just kept flipping, you know best out of 3 yadda, yadda. Yes that means the very first flip did not say what I wanted it to. So by the time I flipped my quarter 100 times I was so confused I couldn't remember whether heads was stay home or go. I waited for a bit then I said "Jed this is the last flip, the one that counts. Heads stay home and tails go to class." I flipped and up came heads...so ya know, I have to go with it. :) I cannot believe I am having such a hard time with this decision! What happened to the Kristin that crawled out the the bathroom windows at school, ran to the parking lot and then drove to Baltimore for the day? AAhh that girl...
Anyway, I have to follow the last flip...but of course I am still debating...just a bit.

I went to the Dietz Clan abode today. Tuesday is D.J.'s birthday...a teenager...OMG. He looks so grown up but he is still his same way cool, easy going D. I have missed him and his funny comments! I took over Jed's computer and stuff that goes with it. I kinda feel bad, like I am giving hand-me downs but I know Jed wants this stuff to go to D so he will use it. I also took over the way cool little 1 can of soda cooler that plugs into your computer! Jed loved that thing, always had a soda in there chillin'! It was great to see them all. I love them. What they gave to Jed no one else could. They gave him normal, D.J. gave him a true friendship that Jed needed and treasured. They gave Jed a sparkle that could not have come from anyone else. I will always be grateful, to the family for embracing us and supporting us and to D, for always, no matter what being there for Jed. There was never a time that Jed asked for him that he did not come. As different as they were they were the same deep down. A friendship, that I believe, was planned by them before they even came to be here on Earth.

I am missing my Jeddie...of course. Taking his computer apart and packing it up was a bit hard but I was happy about where it was going.
We had a great dinner at Mommo and Hop's tonight, everyone was there. Livi-Mac was her usual nutty self and I hope if I am forced to live to be 87 I am driving to my daughter's for dinner on Sundays. My Gram is amazing. She said, "your mother called and I just buzzed over." Gotta love it.
I think that's it...oh The J.T.S. Foundation bracelets are in! $2.00 each. You can order them on the Foundation blog and we will mail them out or you can contact any of us and we will get them to you.

As soon as we get our Logo we will have actual "merchandise"!!

My sweet baby Jed, I am without words for how much I am missing you. There is no way to explain it, no way to give it a description. I know you feel it though. Oh Jeddie...I wish...

Mommy Loves You
Love J & K

Rain and cold...yuck...but a bright spot today was Livi-Mac and our lunch with A..



If you read Savannah's blog I know....you have already seen some of these pics... just think of this as a refresher.

So Mommo, Savannah, Livi-Mac and I took A her favorite meal...a McDonald's cheese burger!
We had a nice little visit. Then Savannah went with Liv and Mommo to have a play date, I came home and made Danny go with me to the store....because everyone knows how much I love the grocery store...ugh. This weather is miserable...so that adds to my great attitude. Poor guy, I don't think I would go to the store with me. I am constantly stopping to very anally straighten out and organize the stuff in the cart. Yes, I used "I" and "organize" in the same sentence. It's a thing Jed always did. I always had to stop so he could make sure everything in the cart was just the way he liked it. Seems like he gives me a little nudge to do the same...drives me crazy!
The rest of the afternoon and evening I am supposed to be working on this list...with those books (those are not all of them)....



BUT I am having difficulty getting started on that hellish list of homework...this is what I am doing instead..



Making puffy fabric letters...don't ask why...I am not sure why.

Notice how my blog looks more interesting sometimes? Yes, I copy from Savannah. I figure..She's mine so ...her ideas can be mine too..right? Works for me.

That's about all....Oh, we got a donation today from the Baltimore zoo for the Luncheon!!! It's a 1 year family membership! Very cool.

I will leave you with this....


Mc-Dj-Jazzy Jed

Missing my little love. Oh Jeddie. Mommy loves you so
Love J & K

Scooter Guy...



Oh Jed and his scooter...love at first sight. Today I learned that the barefoot guy in my Logic class is leaving the day the semester ends to travel the United States for 5 1/2 months....on his scooter!!!! His scooter is of course a big person sized scooter...but I think Jed would be impressed.


Here is the updated information for the JTS Foundation Crab Feed...


Still waiting for our bracelets....they will be $2.00 each. I'll let you know when they arrive. As soon as we get our logo we will have some merchandise made. I am excited to get to that point.

Not too much going on...lots of school work...ridiculous. I am still not sold on this law stuff. I have no idea what I want to do. I'd like to say I'll figure it out but I really don't know if I will. BUT I will do something.....at some point.... I guess I will have to. I registered for summer and fall classes. I took the slacker way out for the summer. I only am taking 2 classes. 1 is a night class once a week and one is a blended class, more online than in class. SOooo that means I will have plenty of time to hang out and grow freckles in the sun....total slacker. I am taking 4 classes in the fall then I will have 2 the following spring semester along with an internship...the thought of that makes me nauseous..then..I guess it's out into the world...shit. Maybe I will stay, just keep racking up student loans until I die..then I don't have to figure out what to do for a living and I won't have to pay back the loans! aahhh decisions, decisions.


Starting to get things together for the Luncheon..


August 27th...mark it on your calendar! We are accepting silent auction items and donations. Our tax number is available for tax deductions if you need it. Check the Foundation blog for updates and info. The link is on the top right of this page. thanks :) none of this would be possible without all of you. You are helping us keep Jed's beautiful spirit alive by helping other kids with cancer and their families.
Thank You

Ok, well that's all for now.
Jeddie Spaghetti, your absence is HUGE but at the same time so is your presence.... make sense? I miss you more than words. I hate being without you here. I hope you are scooter-ing and riding your bike in the sunshine. Keep watching over Eli.
Mommy Loves You.....forever..
Love J & K

There is a little boy in Australia fighting hard...send Kael some love and healing thoughts.

15 months my love, it seems like 15 minutes and 15 years all at the same time. Everyday is cloudy without your sunshine.


Mommy Loves You...forever....



Love J & K