Hi all,

It's been awhile I know. I was going to post at Christmas, then at New Years, then at the three year mark but I knew everything I had to say was sad and miserable and depressing so I decided not to subject anyone to all of that.

I am posting today because I have a couple of things to say that aren't too bad.

First off, Danny and joined the gym again. We had joined three years ago when they opened and then our world collapsed. Danny went for awhile I went maybe four times. It was just too hard. So, we joined again and when I went into the office to get my key thing activated I sat and talked to the owner for a bit. She lost a child 16 years ago. I told her that Jed leaves quarters for us. As I am talking to her she had a strange look on her face, I thought ugh now she thinks I am crazy. She had her hands in her hoodie pockets and she pulled a hand out and was holding a quarter! She said she had found it on her bathroom sink in the morning and knew it had not been there the night before. For some reason she had been carrying it around all day in her pocket. She said, " I think this is for you."  The really cool thing is that a few days earlier I had said, "Jed, I need a quarter, it's been awhile." :)

Second, Savannah left yesterday for her last semester in Happy Valley. When she drove off I thought oh my god, how did this happen so fast and now what the hell do I do. I was standing on the porch and I said Jed I need something big and exciting to focus on. This morning I received a call from Hershey Med Children's Hospital. I have been chosen for an interview for the part time family support position that is open! It is two nights a week and a few hours on Saturdays. Not much but it's a start.

Now to get through the interview process!

Ok, those are my Good things. Yes I still miss Jed more and more every day. Yes it is not getting easier and yes I still want the life I thought I would have. But I don't and I can't so lets see what's ahead I guess.

I miss you Sweet Potato, thanks for taking care of me.

Mommy Loves You

Love
J & K