Hi, so I know I should be writing but it is becoming a chore for some reason. I guess because I really don't have anything to say that I haven't said a million times in the last 18 months. Yes, it has been 18 months since I have seen my son, held his hand, touched his face and watched him breath. Sunday was 18 months. It is no easier, nothing is better. I just keep on pretending life is tolerable...I'm sure I suck at it but I keep doing it anyway.
Sunday started off hard, I almost decided to stay home. I am glad I didn't. We spent the day at Grace and Jim's in Jed's pool. Meg was there with the boys, my parents came and Adam, Tiersa and the Mac were there too. It was a nice cook-out, pool party kinda thing.

We took Jett swimming...


The Mac & Jase played in the creek...Hop too...

Yes he is in the creek with a cane...

Jase was his charming self...


and Jett did what Jett does...hang out and be cool...


Last night was the Red Lion fireworks...I refused to participate but Danny stood in our road and watched..


The fireworks were always a Jed & I thing...we walked up to the high school if he felt well enough or we drove if it was too much of a walk...every year since we moved to Red Lion in 2002..
2008 at Horn Field with the Dietz's

Last week was Grace's birthday so on Saturday evening Meg and Jer had dinner for her and we were invited...

Jett was the life of the party :)


Grace's birthday 2009...Jed was singing to her..


The pool 2007..






The pool 2009....

SO even though I refuse to participate in the festive firework crap we did have a nice weekend...thank you McWilliams people :)

I have one sunflower in the back yard and it, like most of the other stuff was not planted...it just appeared..

Everything in the back yard is going like crazy..we even have an alley garden! Pumpkins and tomatoes...yes I dump old plants and pumpkin parts back there!
Anyway so that was our weekend...oh wait, on Friday Danny and I went for a ride and then we went to a message circle with Francine Milano...she looks at us and says.."why is your son showing me little wheels, not roller skate wheels...no not skateboard wheels, what are these little wheels?" I said....his scooter...she then said "yes he is scootering everywhere." ! He also told her to tell us that he is very proud of his sister and there is another big award in her future this year...wow!

Danny is back to work tomorrow and I have class tomorrow night. I better check my online PE class...I have trouble remembering that thing.

Jed, I am trying...I really am but it is exhausting and sometimes I want to quit..but I don't..because I know you wouldn't. I miss you beyond words...every second.

Mommy Loves You...always
Love J & K

A big special HOORAY to Danny Durling of upstate NY. He finished treatment last week and had his port out!!! Yeehaw !!!