The Jedediah Thomas Smith Memorial Luncheon 2012

Saturday September 29th

MARK YOUR CALENDAR!!!!!



Come help us fight childhood cancer in memory of Jed
on his 15th Birthday!

Mommy Loves you Baby Jed
Love J & K

I keep telling myself "Jed called, he is doing great and having a blast. Jackson is with him, they are having so much fun and will see us when we get there". Yes, I got all that out of my phone call. He didn't need to say anymore than "Hi Mom" I got it, I know what he meant. Do I wish he would call again? Of course, every time my house phone rings I hope....I will just keep hoping. It's crazy, I have read about mom's getting phone calls from their kids that have "gone home". I never, ever thought I would get one. Leave it to Jed.....my kids are flipping amazing. :)



The background of my phone call sounded like a very full playground. I could hear tons of kids laughing and yelling. I couldn't hear what they were saying except when I asked "who is this" and a little squeaky voice said "no one". Oh Jackson your a funny little thing. I have this vision in my head of Jed standing in a playground with Jackson and the J's around, getting jostled by other kids and trying not to laugh as he talks to me on the phone. He just kept saying "hi mom, hi mom :) it is sunny and warm and all the kids are happy and playing. I'm good with that.


The two Funny Men.......such sweet boys.....

Baby love, I miss you with every breath. Thank you for the phone call....it's something to hang on to.

Everyday down is a day closer to being with you.
Mommy Loves You
Love J & K


Shelly, funny that you commented I was thinking about you! xo

Yeah I know 2 posts back to back what's happening...well I have a story.
So last night about 10:30 my house phone rang. I looked at the caller ID and it was a cell number I did not know. When I answered there was no one there. I thought for a minute that maybe I should call it back....but I decided not to probably just a wrong number. This morning about 7:20 the house phone rang, I grabbed it and I thought to myself I think this is the same number as last night. Here is how the conversation went.
Me: Hello?
Voice: Hi Mom
(now this sounds like Savannah but just a little off like she might be upset so I am trying to stay calm)
Me: hey, what's up
Voice: Hi Mom
Me: Savannah?
(now I hear lots of kids in the background but I cannot make out what anyone is saying)
Me: Is this Savannah, who is this?
A back round voice: no one
Me: Hello?
Voice: Hi Mom, Hi Mom Hi mom
Me: who is this?
Voice Hi Mom
then the phone is dead.

As soon as I hung up and cleared any fear for Savannah out of my head I realized that yes the voice sounded like Savannah but it sounded EXACTLY like JED!!!! Then it hit me, like a truck..whenever Jed would call me when I answered he always said "hi mom" and I would say "hi Jed"
Oh how I wished I had said Hi Jed!
It was so clear and so exactly his voice. I wanted to jump up and down!

When Mickie and Mom and I went to Francine I was a bit disappointed because Jed did not have much to say to me. Francine said, "everytime he comes he is stronger" then she told me that he was saying hi to "dad" (Danny) and he was excited about and proud of all the things Savannah is doing and she told my mom that he says she needs to take care of herself and she is still not doing that even though he told her that before! But nothing really for me....but now
Now I have a phone call!!! Jed that was FABULOUS you ROCK!! Thank you.

dude you are soooo cool :)

Thanks baby Jed
Mommy loves you
love J & K

Not sure why I am writing or what I am writing. I am so tired of being sad and tired but I see no end to it...trying to learn to live this way is exhausting. I miss everyone at clinic and on 7 west. As sick as it sounds I even miss my "bench". The quiet nights of just Jed and I and Adult Swim on TV, the midnight puzzles and 2am slushies. I miss watching him make his Christmas lists over and over as he does a ton of research about the stuff he wanted. He would even look to see where it was the cheapest! I miss his funny giggle and his crazy sock puppets when he was bored. I miss how happy he would be when we got home and the constant visits from the Domino's driver.
I just miss my Jed. When I say everyday is harder I am not just being dramatic it is very true.

Blue finding a clue!

I hope you all had a great Halloween.

Yes this was an odd random post...I know.

Jed, my love, I have no words. I will just keep going until I get there. Mommy Loves you
Love J & K