Last Night in the USVI.... Slatton family Jam session....


How can we leave this.....???

and this??? Look at that face...
I SOOOOO love it here....can we swing a return visit at New Years? I know that is not realistic... but I don't like to live in reality :)
We need to start the "2 year plan" ...to move to St. Croix...can it be done? I think yes.
Baby Jed....oh lovey...missing you so so much. I heard you left Jaz's family a dollar in their yard...that is pretty cool! Savannah saw her 1st giraffe from Jaz. You guys have been busy :) I am headed home...Mommy Loves You..
Love J & K

Hold her hand Jed...and show her the way. We love you Jaz..you will be so missed.
All our love, strength and prayers go out to the Cope Family.
The one and only thought that gets me through, moment by moment is that our children now are healthy, happy and not suffering though the hell they were living.
We are left to find purpose in our days and to search for our kids in our dreams.
It sucks and it is hard and finding a reason to keep going is always a daily struggle but we would not wish our kids back for anything. They finally get to be free..and that is our life line...what we hold on to when the days are black and gray and we think we can't go on.
Savannah Renee...you are a beautiful friend...and you made a huge difference. Take what Jaz has given you, put it with what you have learned from your brother...and Jackson and Jenn and use it to propel you forward. You have your 4 J's behind you..they've got your back.
Baby Jed....Mommy Loves you....oh so much.
Love J & K

This picture is horribly unflattering but ..
(only of me.....and it is all about me..right Trish?)

I am thankful for family & friends, near & far. Happy Thanksgiving. Thank you to the Slatton/Lincoln clan of St. Croix for sharing their day, their home and their many friends. We are grateful for their open, loving way of life. They are beautiful and so is their island.

2008...Oh so full...


Baby Jed...there are no words for how horribly hard this is. I just can't describe it. My heart breaks over and over, day after day...but today...is very hard. Yesterday neighbor Joe cooked a fish for us....he is a chef, you would have been stuck to him all day. Today Russell fried a turkey...while the iguanas were hanging around...you would have gotten a kick out of that too. Maybe you sent the iguanas for Danny? Thanks for the quarter this morning. I know your here but I am missing you terribly. You would love the boys, they are so funny. I know you would be having a blast with them. I thought last Thanksgiving would be the worst we ever had....I never imagined how much worse it would get. What I hang on to day after day is that you are healthy, pain free and happy. Knowing those things is what gets me through. One more day down...one day closer to being with you.
Mommy Loves you sweet potato...
Love J & K

The weather is awesome!!! Riding in the jeep, top down, sunny, 85 degrees and drinking a Smirnoff ice...not a bad gig. OH and did I mention that they don't really pull anyone over for anything. In the words of our host..."it's a bit lawless here...a little wild west like".

Savannah at Point Udall, doing her happy, happy, joy, joy dance!

Nila, Danny and Kate

We hiked about a 1/2 of a mile to an empty beach. We only saw 2 other people all day. It was wonderful.





Danny, practicing his snorkeling.




Yesterday we went horseback riding through the jungle and onto the beach. It was fun.

Me, Savannah, Nila, Lydia, Kate and Danny

Savannah happy as a clam riding Mr. McGregor
Elan in a beer box.

Tomorrow we are off to a half day boat ride to Buck Island and do some snorkeling.
Watching Kate with her 2 boys under the age of 2 makes me realize that I am too old for that baby momma stuff. It is exhausting! They are so sweet and funny but oh so tiring.
I have really gotten closer to solidifying my decision to move somewhere warm in a few years. This would be my 2nd choice behind The Keys...so far.
The girl Nila brought with her, Lydia, is super cool. We are having a great time with her
Anyway have to go to bed. Up early tomorrow.
Jeddie, I am missing you so so much. All the beauty and the warmth here...I know you would be very happy here. Desperately missing you...oh so very very much. Mommy Loves You
Love J & K

Today we went through the jungle to the other side of the island. We hung at a beach called Cane Bay Beach...very cool place. Rockin beach bar with a spectacular drink called Sex in the Champagne Room. It is Vanilla flavored rum, cranberry juice and champagne. yummy.
and here is the view from the bar.......lots of cool rasta guys there too


Here is Dan and his fam on top of the mountain.


Uncle Danny and Elan..


Danny took a long walk with Azure today. The kid walked forever, on a gravel road and had no shoes on. He's like a little Tarzan.
It has rained everyday but we manage to get a couple of hours of sun each day...so far. Tomorrow afternoon we are taking a horseback ride through the jungle and on the beach.

I have to post this picture because I am amazed at how "gifted" I look because of the reflection of the water...hahah


savannah's perfect palm tree...


I am missing you so very much Jeddie. I am always looking for you. It is beautiful here but I am missing you so so much.
Mommy Loves you baby Jed.
Love J & K

Landing on St. Thomas...

I arrived yesterday evening. Savannah and Danny got here a couple hours before me and then Russell and Danny came to the airport to get me. I took an eight seat-er prop plane from St. Thomas to St. Croix. The sun was setting as I came across to the island. It was beautiful.


Here we are...St. Croix! It is beautiful and fun...





As you can see Danny has made a new friend. Elan and Dan have hit it off. Azure, the older brother keeps telling everyone he is busy, "playing with his Uncle"! So actually Danny has 2 new friends.
This is where we had dinner tonight. It was awesome, great food, right on the ocean...not too shabby.

and this is our view from the porch of Kate and Russ' house.....


So, here we are. I'm glad were here and trying not to think of home.
Jeddie, I am missing you so very much. We saw the beautiful butterfly in the kids tent on the beach. Thank you. You would love the boys they are so funny. Jed I miss you and want you here. Keep an eye on Jazzy, no blasts again today for her!!!! Amazing. Mommy loves you so very much Baby Jed....
Love J & K

We are headed to sun, warmth and fun. I would trade anything for...well you know what for. That is not an option so...we will try something completely different...


Jazz has managed to make it just a bit easier to leave. She had a blast count this morning of 0. What does that mean? Savannah explained it with Lego Star Wars, I won't. Ok, Jaz's cells are the cancer cells and the donor cells are the clean, new, sparkly cells. The clean, sparkly cells are winning right now, they are in the lead and have taken over. The cancer cells have been annihilated, as of right now. We are not skipping and singing about miracles ...ok so we might be skipping but we are guarded...thrilled but guarded. This lovely news makes it just a tad easier to be away for a bit. We love you Cope Fam...and we will be up there bugging you more again very soon.

I am trying desperately not to think about last year...it was not fun...but I had Jed. This year, is not fun and I don't have Jed...BUT Jed is healthy and happy so I cannot complain. The missing is so huge though. There are no words.



We are off early tomorrow morning. I am excited...as excited as I can possibly be. I am going to try very hard not to bum out anyone's holiday..I'll let ya know how that goes. I will miss my family....but I wouldn't be such great company there either.
Jeddie...are you packed..oh wait you get to skip that part! I am packed...almost. I am missing you baby love. I am flying alone...so come hang out. Mommy loves you...
Love J & K

Jed chillin' on a boat in the USVI. He has so much fun. He learned to snorkel and we went to Virgin Gorda and Jost Van Dyke.
I got 100% on my environmental science test. Really seems inconsequential.
Savannah spent the day with Jaz and her family. I think I was having Cope family withdrawal. She said Jaz looks good and was in a good mood. It was actually very very hard to not be with them today. Funny how easy it was to fall back into the 7 west stuff. Not funny haha....funny weird.
Frick & Frack...what a pair:)


Jeddie, get ready, we are headed to the beach. I am missing you so so much. Keep a close eye on Jaz for us. Oh Jed, this blows. I miss you!!!!
Mommy Loves You Baby Jed
Love J & K

Savannah and I were at Hershey med again today for a bit. We didn't stay all day, just a few hours. On the way out we went to clinic. Love seeing everyone there. Maritsa and Megan...gimpy 1 & 2. feet in casts, elbows with bionic things...it's a rough job you guys have there!!
Jaz looked good when we were there. She had friends & family coming in and out. We left because we knew it would be getting crowded.
Best news of the day...I saw Janiece when I got off the elevator on the 7th floor. Her chemo is working...YAY!! so so happy. Between that and retirement she seems to be doing well.


I'm not going to lie, being up there is exhausting. I also feel this weird guilt when I leave. I used to have that guilt when Jed and I would get to go home and others had to stay. Feeling this guilt now is stupid...but I do. I think I do ok up there. I try to keep it all together. Today I was fine....until one of the mother's I know told her son to sit with me while she talked to someone else. I know this boy. He is 12 or 13 I think, he had his transplant right about when Jed was scheduled. He is funny, thin, all elbows and knees, sweet, wearing a snuggie and a mask. I was shaking. I tried to act real cool but I just wanted to touch him. We passed the time by sending his mother "meaningful" stares while she was talking. He wanted to go home! Finally she got the message. I told him he needed a big red sign that says "home now" to hold up when she is talking! I kept it all together until he was headed out the door. I didn't want to freak the poor guy out. It was bad enough that his mother said, "sit here and talk to Jed's mom". He knows where Jed is...I'm thinking I am not the person he wanted to sit with! Yea, being up there has some very difficult moments.
Jay and Tammy and their family are doing well, they are very strong for Jaz, I am so happy to see that.
I have school all day tomorrow so I will not see them. Savannah is going up tomorrow afternoon. We leave on Friday...all this just adds to the bitter sweetness of the whole trip. I feel a bit guilty to be taking "all this" to their holiday celebration but "all this" is now a permanent part of who we are. I guess it's all or nothing.
My sweet baby Jed. Hard days, just very hard days. All the things I want I cannot have. I am missing you...so so much. Mommy Loves you
Love J & K

Savannah and her "little sister" Jaz.


I spent most of the day at Hershey Med again. Savannah called me when I was between classes this morning to tell me Jaz was in PICU and might be vented. She went right there. I came home and dad drove me to Hershey so I would be there to drive Savannah home whenever she was ready. Visiting there is not too hard....leaving is a nightmare. I didn't want her leaving there alone. They have stopped Jaz's treatment. Her cancer is back and to keep pouring chemo in her is not fair and would only be torture at this point....wow where have we heard that before? They brought her back to 7west. She was fairly alert and was very happy to see Savannah. Our Gamma Phi-Acacia family showed up. They have adopted Jaz as their own. Knowing they are there to hold Savannah up is a great comfort. We have leaned on them and relied on them so much I have no idea how we would make it without them. They are lovely, perfect gifts from Jed.
As dad was leaving the hospital after dropping me off, the car in front of him had a license plate that said "Jed's Ma".... :) He is always with us.
When I was at hershey the other day with Savannah I saw Dr. Bell and I was thrilled to see Dr. Khan but I was wondering where "our" docs were? The "old guard". not really old but you know what I mean! So today I saw Dr. Comito, Dr. Ungar and Dr. Neeley! It was very nice to see them. I remember Dr. Comito said to me a long time ago,"Jed is one of my very favorite patients, I love that boy". :) I got to see Deana again. It is always wonderful to see her. I also saw Bubba and Denise. Lovely...oh and Dr. Mikey....famous for his teenage mutant ninja turtle expertise. I spoke to Dr. Fecile....wonderful woman..and Dr. I also saw many many nurses that I did not see the other day. I know I said this before but it is oddly comforting to be back on the floor, it is a bit disconcerting how quickly I fall right back into the whole routine of the place.

OMG how cute are they?

I am sick with sadness knowing what this family, we have come to love, is going to have to go through. I am also sick with worry and sadness knowing what Savannah will be going through. Again though, thank god for Mead & Brent and Lizzie & Kait, and all of our Gamma Phi Acacia family. (I want to name all of you but....that is not possible)
The love of my life....

Jed the penny you left in the room was found and everyone knew who it was from. :) Talking to so many that love you and miss you today was really very nice. I hate that it is under such horrible circumstances. Please look out for Jaz, hold her hand. Mommy loves you baby Jed.
love J & K