Happy Birthday Danny


I tried to make Danny a cake like the one Jed and I made him in 2009. I was going to say last year....but that's not right. Ugh. Anyway the cake I made today sucked. It's like sand with rockin' chocolate icing. I need to just stop! I have to come to grips with the fact that only chocolate chip and sugar cookies come out edible from my oven. I need to accept it and move on from all other cooking. This needs to my moment of acceptance, no more cooking or baking!!!
We had dinner at Chili's tonight. It was a fundraiser for Red Lion's Mini-THON, Danny's birthday and of course Jed's favorite place to eat....I have only been there one other time since Jed went home and that was DJ's birthday last year. I have very mixed feelings about being there. There were so many times, too many to count that Jed and I ate there. Sometimes the five of us (DJ included), sometimes the four of us, a lot of times just three, Jed, Danny and me or Jed Savannah and me or Jed DJ and me, and then there were those times that it was just Jed and me. Every time was wonderful, I love and miss them all. Notice that the only constants in that list are Jed and I. :) always together.


Jed's last visit to Chili's November 2009

So, I have my mid-term grades. A's in four classes and a B in one. The B is in family law the class I thought I would like the best. I do like it but there are a few things that make it harder than I thought it would be. First, it is my last class of the week so by the time Wednesday evening comes I am tired second, there are other things happening in that class that make it hard to focus. Last night I had a few moments where I thought, how does this guy know this stuff about me? I had to do the thing were I remind myself the world does not revolve around me, there are other people in it. The professor started out talking about a guy that called his office saying, " I want to sign off all parenting rights to my kids so I don't have to pay child support." He had to explain to this guy that without an adoption pending you are not allowed to just "sign off on your kids" to avoid support. Hmm, sounds a bit familiar. I remember getting a phone call a lot like that. Then the professor told us about a check list he has clients fill out when there is a custody issue. It is stuff like, who does the bathing, the feeding, the tucking in. He told us that he always tucked his son in. He said, " Every night until my son was 13 I put him to bed and read to him. I fell asleep with him every night. My wife would come in around midnight and tell me to come to bed." Hmm, I only got 12 yrs but wow that sounded familiar. He also told a story about a mother he represented with a sick child. When the child went to stay at his father's sometimes his meds were not given. really? huh. By this time I thought maybe someone was filming me or something! Oh and then was the story that had nothing to do with me but was pretty close to something that recently happened with someone I know. A mother wanted to relocate and the father said no, she went anyway leaving her son behind. It was an exhausting night. I spent the majority of the class trying not to cry....so I didn't really take any notes. It has made me think that family law and child advocacy might not be something I will be able to handle well.
I need the sky to open up and say "Kristin, this (whatever it is) is what you are supposed to be doing, this is the path you need to be on." It would be very helpful because right now, I have no idea what I am doing and NO CLUE what I will want to do. I honestly don't want to do anything...but I know that is not an option....damn.

How cute is he??


I found this today, a small glimmer of hope.....

The Creating Hope Act of 2011 was introduced in the US Senate on March 17 by Sen. Robert P. Casey Jr (D-PA). Spearheaded by like-minded organization Kids v Cancer, the Creating Hope Act intends to focus some of the brightest scientific minds on creating new and improved drugs for pediatric cancer and other rare childhood diseases. The act does not require appropriation and influences research and development through an incentive system for pharmaceutical companies.

In short, when a pharmaceutical company develops an FDA-approved drug for a rare pediatric disease, including childhood cancer, that company will receive an incentive. The incentive is a voucher for FDA fast-track approval of a second, unrelated drug. This pass to the front of the line is extremely valuable to the companies, and is modeled after a successful research and development system enacted to help a similar group of “orphaned” patients: those suffering from rare tropical diseases.

Only ONE new drug to fight childhood cancer has been developed in the last 20 years! Our kids deserve better than smaller doses of drugs meant to treat adult cancer patients. Please help us support this legislation by contacting your senator and representatives and asking them to vote YES on the Creating Hope Act.

from The Pablove Foundation

It is nice to know someone is trying, that someone cares.

Staying on that note we have started some planning for the luncheon and also we are throwing around the idea of a roller skating party/fundraiser in June. It would be just a couple of hours on a Saturday, for kids, families, friends, and that special group...children of the 80's. Savannah said, "I don't know what it is with 40 yr olds but they are obsessed with roller skating." Well, some of us spent A LOT of time at the Roller Rink!! So if you have any ideas or thoughts about this PLEASE feel free to pass it along! We hope to have our 501(c)3 status fully established soon and have our logo ready. It is getting a little exciting.

Even more exciting....the weather today and tomorrow. Savannah and I walked to the cemetery today for the first time in a long time. We sat on the porch and chatted with our FAB neighbors and Danny rode his bike to work. The sun gives me the most amazing feeling of peace and calm, as close to it as I can get anyway! LOVE IT and tomorrow is to be even warmer! (Do NOT talk to me about Saturday)

So, happy birthday Danny, sorry for the crappy cake but the icing is bangin' just scrape it off :) Happy birthday to Danny's granddaughter Bianca and our sweet island boy is the big 1 today! Elan, I cannot wait to snuggle you again soon.

Oh and Happy welcome to the world Collin Morgan! I know your Aunt Renee and Uncle Marc will watch over you and keep you safe.

I will soon write about the amazing Jett Towsen Sheely but I want to wait until I have pictures. I have been too sick to be around him but I am hoping next week will be our first meeting! Then I will give you all the details of his coolness :)

Oh Jeddie Spaghetti.....the missing is so big sometimes it is scary. My memories and my absolute belief that you are happy, & doing well at "home" keep me from falling into that dark hole of missing. Every second of every day and every night my heart is with you. thanks for the sunshine, keep an eye on all our sick friends. Mommy Loves You

Love J & K

Savannah I cropped you out of that 1st picture....see how kind I am?