Shoes and attitude...what more do you need?

Smile at that because all I am doing is complaining...just a warning in case you want to leave now :)

What have I done? This whole legal studies thing is so not fun. I do not like it. Maybe I will like it better tomorrow after I check out my Family Law class. The class I dislike the most is the basis of what my career will be when I finish....oh dear god. Research and Writing...I have only had 1 class and I hate it. I just finished 3 hrs of homework and I still have 5 chapters to read. I really need someone to tell me what job I will like and what I need to do to get that job. I do not want to work in a lawyer's office, that I am sure of. What the hell am I doing? I have no clue. UGH, this sucks.
So anyway, on the sucky list, Danny stopped to pick up my wellbutrin prescription tonight (that was nice of him and wasn't the sucky part). Awhile back I had it filled and I had not hit my deductible yet so I had to pay the whole total. It was a bit over $300.00 for 3 months. Today when he picked it up it was $679.00......I nearly choked when he brought it in. I was so upset I can't even tell you. I want to stop taking it but right now is not a great time. Anyway, I called and asked why is was more than double the price it was last time I had to pay out of pocket. Now this blew my mind because I never knew this but if you have insurance even if you haven't hit your deductible you get a discount. I never knew this. So now that I have no insurance the price more than doubles...how sick is that? The girl told me to come in and that they had a discount card for people that do not have insurance. Danny and I went right up, they refunded the $679.00, gave me the discount and it was only $279.00. A $400.00 discount...holy crap. So that was un-sucky...and very much appreciated but how sick is it that you get charged double when you have no insurance? We are the only developed nation in the WORLD where people go bankrupt because of medical bills and people don't take needed medication because they cannot afford it. That is ridiculous. I want to move to the Netherlands or Sweden. To add to that fun I had to pay double the quoted amount per month for Savannah's new policy because she takes migraine medicine.
Today was one of those days when I almost wished myself back in factory hell, my insurance sucked there but at least I had some, I got a pay check and I didn't have to worry about the fact that I hate what I am studying. I could just not think at all. Go to work, come home, eat and sleep. Get up and go to work. No thinking involved.
I wonder what I can do with a degree in "legal studies". They have an accelerated BS program for Crime, Law and Justice through Albright college right from the school I go to now. If I do that I might finish by the time I turn 50 and I will have a huge stack of student loans instead of just a smaller huge stack. I will definitely have to go find a job WAY before that anyway. I want to work with kids....I think, but I do not want to be a teacher. A school counselor would be great except I would need at least a masters in Psychology and that is not happening. Whatever, I will figure it out somehow. Now I am just rambling. All day doing homework will do that. I did Logic homework for 4 hrs....stupid.
Here is something that makes everyone feel better...while breaking your heart at the same time. I put this video on FaceBook last night. I don't usually watch videos of Jed, I really cannot handle it but I needed to hear his voice so badly....I found this;



That is his baby, he loves her so. I love watching them look at each other.

These last 2 days have been worse than normal for whatever reason...and my normal is pretty F'd up. I am tired of being without him. Just sick of it.
I sent in my papers to volunteer at his school once a week or so but I haven't heard anything. Maybe they won't want me! I am only slightly unstable...just slightly.
My day classes are canceled for tomorrow but my night class is still scheduled. Today my school closed at 4:30 and my class started at 6pm...yay.
Ok, I am finished my pity party....for now.
We are waiting for the official word that Savannah and Shuma are dancing in THON. The lottery drawing is tomorrow night...we hope to know by Thursday.
If you read her blog she posted their total at registration. Ready? Drum roll...and in the words of Jed, "wait for it, wait for it....oh yeah baby" $17,919.15 how freakin' cool is that?? They are hardcore THONers.
Ok, I am finished running on.

Baby Jed...I wish I had words to describe how I feel every moment of every day. The missing is so big it covers everything. If I start to think about how long I have to wait to see you I get a bit panicky. I have to make myself not go there....because it is so sickening. Please hug our J's. We are missing you all so much. A hug for Ani, for Marianne, I know she is living the missing too.
Mommy loves you sweet potato.forever
Love J & K