I sometimes receive notes or little inspirational things from people. A few people have sent me things that they think might help me. I always appreciate the effort and the thought but sometimes I feel that maybe they are trying to make themselves feel better..and that is fine too. Most stuff is harmless and some is weird..at least to me. Once, when Jed relapsed the first time, I received a "religious" book about how the "son died because the parent sinned"...that was NOT helpful. It was stupid and thoughtless and an example of someone sending something to make themselves feel better and to further their agenda. I was a bit off put but, whatever...I did what I always try to do....laugh. Soo today I received a very nice letter and a little "religious" book in the mail. I know the thought behind this was genuine and I do appreciate it. In this book is a marked passage that basically says don't worry about your child if they die, when you die you do not think or feel, dead people cannot do that because it is all connected to the brain and if your brain is dead so are you. Pretty much, when your dead your dead and at some point they all will be resurrected here on earth, not in heaven visiting angels or anything. Um, ok. those of you that know me know that is NOT what I believe. As I'm reading all this I am thinking about all the quarters Jed has sent me, messages through others and to others and of course the red pump message from Renee. I SOOO know better! Anyway...ok now this story happens in the bathroom...just so you know. I went in to pee...yes I pee...and I looked at the clock. I was a bit disappointed because I missed the double and triple digits I am always seeing. Then I thought of the fact that I asked Jed for a quarter the other day and hadn't gotten one yet, I am not patient. In front of me is the shelf which has 3 rolls of toilet paper sitting on it. Toilet paper only gets put on the holder about once a year in this house. So I reach out and grab one, with no conscious thought as to which one I wanted, I grabbed the little one sitting in a basket. I picked it up at the exact moment I was thinking about asking Jed for a quarter. Under the roll....there was a quarter. I emptied that basket to see if someone threw their change in there but the only money was this ONE quarter!!! I had to just start laughing out loud and I could hear Jed saying "yup, when your dead your dead". Thanks Jed. I needed something to think about besides the devastating decision I had to make 1 year ago today. And to the very nice person that put so much effort into sending me the information, I do appreciate the thought behind it...really. The fact that your daughter is named Tiersa, my sister-in-law's name, is to me, just another way that my son sends little signs and messages to me! Thank you, even though the message was not as you intended...it was the message I needed. Jed, the lengths you go to amaze me!

Thank you Jed...as always you make sure that everyone is as ok as they can be. I know that message was not just for me.....I know it was for everyone...You are here, always. Mommy Loves you more than life.....
Love J & K

"When you are born, you cry and the world rejoices. When you die, you rejoice and the world cries."
Tibetan Buddhist saying