Thank you. Thank you to everyone that has supported us, loved us and kept Jed's memory alive. This year has been...well there are no words but without all of you I don't know how we would have made it.
Last year at this time I snuggled up next to my son for the last time. I held his hand and we slept. While we slept Danny held his other hand and talked to him for hours. I woke at 6:28 am to ask for a blanket. I reached up to rub Jed's belly. I told him, "Jed please go. You have fought long and hard and you deserve to go. I will be ok, we will be ok." I knew I would never be ok but I knew he needed to hear that one more time. My last act as his mother was to let him go. He took 2 breaths and was gone at exactly 6:30am. That's it, no harps and trumpets no opening of the sky with sunbeams shining down. Just a last breath and then emptiness. I hope for him, leaving that ravaged body behind was exhilarating and liberating. I hope it was as beautiful for him as it was devastating for me. For all of us.
I say this often, Jed has giving us many, many gifts. He continues to give us beautiful gifts. The best of those gifts are the people we have in our lives. We have amazing friends because of him & we have a closer relationship with our families because of him. There are so many, many wonderful people in our lives that are only there because of Jed....and we are so grateful. The most important thing to me is for people to not forget him. It brings a smile to my face when someone speaks to me of him and what he has brought into their lives. Nothing, nothing can fix the hole in our lives, nothing can compensate for what I am missing BUT when people tell me they are thinking of him and the difference knowing him has made in their lives...it does help. There are times when the pain and the missing are so big that I start to panic because there is no way to escape it. You can't huddle small enough or hide under the covers or take something. Nothing works. At those moments, just when I think it will be impossible to keep going, I think of the difference he has made and the people he has touched. It helps. As this first year comes to a close and the shock starts to wear off, the reality of it all is sinking in a bit. The shear depth of what we have lost is incomprehensible but it is nothing compared to what we have gained by having Jed with us for 12 incredible years. He will always be the best part of me.
So, back to where I started, thank you. Thank you for everything. Keep Jed in your heart and if you get a random quarter....it's from him....I promise.

Hey Rock Star.....I know your here...but not being able to touch you or take care of you is almost intolerable. I think of what you endured and how hard you fought and I have to say...oh great, thanks for setting the bar so freaking high! I am trying Jeddie...I really am. Thank you Lovey, for all you are, all you have given and all you continue to give. Did you like your red balloons?
Mommy loves you........forever
Love J & K