I have been studying ALL day. Environmental science exam at 9:30am tomorrow, law presentation at 1pm, finish my excel test at 4:30 & a big paralegal exam at 6pm. I want tomorrow to be over. All that and on such a crappy day. I can't even really talk about it but one year ago tomorrow was a devastating day...for all of us.
But even then....I was positive all would be ok. This is not the ok I wanted but it is the best ok for Jed so I cannot argue. Saying I feel destroyed is an understatement.
How dramatic. but really that is a good way to describe how I feel.
I carry Jed's back pack every day with his glasses, survivor bracelet and his tigger. It reminds me that he made the most of some horrible situations.


My best, sweetest memories are so entangled in disgustingly painful situations. Today I was telling Jaz's mom how when we would come in Jed would right away say he wanted all his meds IV...it was the one perk of being inpatient. When he was ready to leave he would drag his pole to the nurses station and tell whoever was there to "change my meds to PO I'm going home"! He could go from being flat on his back for 2 weeks to up and dressed and ready to go in less than an hour. It was like a switch was flipped. See a funny sweet memory wrapped around a bad situation. Sooo, as horrible as tomorrow will be, and as much as I am expected to conquer tomorrow...it is nothing, not even a speck of what Jed did everyday.
and I have homemade chicken noodle soup...thanks mom. Poor Danny is doing what Stacy at work so kindly called the "geriatric shuffle". his back went out at work yesterday...just in time for our trip...poor guy.
Hold me up tomorrow Jeddie. oh I guess you really need to hold Danny up!!!Mommy Loves you..
Love J & K
Just remembered I have to do a project for environmental science that is due the day we get home....so it has to be finished before next Friday. and I picked something about TMI and sealing the reactor...I don't even know what that means.