Jed going to camp August 2008

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Originally uploaded by kbuckley69

Breakfast with the fam....good. The rest of the day....not so great. Crying crying crying....so tired of crying. So tired of everything. I really do not want to do this. I just want to stay in bed. Why is Jed not here? Why do I have to try to make a life without him? I hate this. It gets worse everyday. I want to be angry but...who is there to be angry with? No one, I am aware of that....almost wish there was. Anyone that knows us knows the amount of time Jed and I spent together...now there is nothing. Everything he and I did for 8 yrs is either gone or I have to do them without him. Being in the house is hard but it is the only place I want to be. When I look at pictures of his smiling face I always smile, then I cry and want to throw up. I know he is around me but not actually having him here where I can take care of him and hang out with him and talk to him is horrible. I was in the car with Danny today riding along while he did stuff and I was just a mess. Like I said..today has been miserable. A little black car (like mine but a bit older) pulled out in front of us and it had a little tiny sticker on the back window the said ILUVU in red and white letters. I know that was for me...I felt it right away. I had to smile...
Love J & K