summer 2008

001
Originally uploaded by kbuckley69

He is eating meatless mini corn dogs...and look at the smile.
Savannah got her tooth fixed today. Last night for some reason I decided we should go to this dentist and see what he had to say instead of waiting until Monday. Turns out cosmetic dentistry is his specialty. He explained that bonding would be the best route and when I asked him about insurance and how much he said "oh, I am not going to charge you"!!!!! A dentist fixed Savannah's tooth on a SUNDAY and charged NOTHING!!! I am just blown away!!! He did such a great job you really cannot tell. Amazing.
Savannah and I then did some shopping...to celebrate of course. Every time I go to get dressed I am hit with the reality that all my clothes are either things from the hospital (stretched out from sleeping in them) or work things (t-shirts). I don't want to wear any of that stuff on the weekend and the hospital stuff I don't want to wear ever again. I got a couple of shirts and so did Savannah. I realized that I cannot shop and NOT by t-shirts! I don't think I know how to wear a shirt that is not a t-shirt! We also got a solar light on a stick and took it to the cemetery. It's a glass orb that hangs on a metal hanger. We put it in the ground and Danny and I went over in the dark to look at it. It turns all colors. I know Jed loves it. It is pretty cool.
We had dinner at Mom and Dad's..grilled stuff, yum. It is very weird to be there without Jed. But it is very weird to be ANYWHERE without Jed. Again, coming home is so very hard. Instead of going into Jed's room and staying there for awhile I actually emptied the 2 baskets of clothes I have been living out of since I came home. I just couldn't make myself put the stuff away. I have a huge bag of sweaters for goodwill and a huge bag for Danny that are rags to wash the bike. I have like 4 shirts that are not t-shirts hanging in the closet, yay me.
So that was my exciting day. I refused to even go near all the boys clothes in Old Navy or target. I ALWAYS would buy Jed something...now I just avoid the whole area....sucks.
Danny wants me to go to the gym with him at 4am. UGH, I wish I wanted to but all I would do is use the tanning bed. (which I am trying not to do) I really need to do something but it just seems like so much work.
Everything seems like too much work. I have to call my homeowners insurance people to report the spouting and crap that fell off the house during all the snow and ice. Then I have to call and have someone come fix it. I have to call comcast and get them to fix the new internet that I am paying for and not getting. I know those are minor things but somehow they seem huge. Just have to get it done I guess. Add it to the list of crap I have to do and don't want to do.
That's it. My complaint session is accomplished....look I did something......
Good night Baby Jed. Mommy loves you and I found the blue rock you left for me in the back yard. Now if you could just come home all would be well.
Living without Jed is ..well it is not living it is just surviving and it sucks. I miss that smile and giggle more than words can express.
Love J & K