jed & fred Oct 2005

jed & fred
Originally uploaded by kbuckley69

The First Formal....Jed is impressed....can you tell? Such a chuckle.
For some reason today all I could think about was rubbing "blue stuff" on Jed's back for weeks because his back was hurting all the time. It started in September so we thought maybe it was from his back pack...but he wasn't at school much so we thought maybe he was just stiff. Anyway, he was so skinny. I can close my eyes and feel his little bones in his back. He would always say "get my chicken wing, it's sore". I don't know why that was with me all day. I was mounting tires all day and the last 2 hrs I decided to listen to Jed's IPOD. I want to give it to Haley next door but I am not ready to part with it yet. Anyway I was listening and thinking of his chicken wing and getting upset when one of his favorite groups came on, All American Rejects, and the song was Move Along. the lyrics are " When all you got to keep is strong, move along, move along like I know ya do and even when your hope is gone move along move along just to make it through move along. When everything is wrong we move along (go on go on)...
I said "yes Jed I get the message...move along and leave the "chicken wing" behind. I know he has.
I walked over to the cemetery this evening. It was so nice out. I was sitting there talking to him and thinking to myself that I would stay until dark to watch his light come on and the light came on....while the sun was still out! I still stayed until dark.
Who put the red truck there? It's cool.
Another thing stuck in my head (but not just today) are some of our clinic people. Janiece, Maritsa and Denise...I think of everyone very often,,,,especially Jed's Holly but these 3 have been stuck in my head for a while now....what's going on up there people??!! Hopefully nothing or only good stuff. Hi to ALL of you.
I guess that's all for now.
I love you baby Jed.The missing you is so painful.....we spent so much time together....every moment...sleeping and awake...it is VERY hard to be without you.
Love J & K