Jed.... Tub Boy he is almost 5 in this pic.

Jed172
Originally uploaded by kbuckley69

Jed floating in the big tub at the old house. Funny how for awhile it was hard to keep him out of the tub and then all of a sudden it was hard to get him anywhere near the shower! Dr. Neeley told him one time that he was writing a prescription for daily summer showers and every other day showers in the winter.....all that got was a giggle. I know there were times when a shower was just too exhausting but there were also times when he just didn't feel he needed to wash. Boys...

Savannah and Kyle are hiking at a park somewhere. She just called me to say that there is a forest fire and she had to call 911...so where was she when she called???? Standing very close to said forest fire yelling at kyle because he was just watching it and would not leave. Last I heard she finally got him to move....called him a few choice names and such. Leave it to those 2 to find a forest fire. Geeze.

Nothing new here..same old stuff. I stopped to visit the cemetery on my way to work and Jed's flowers were all wilted so I asked mom if she or dad could go water them for me.....now it is getting windy and I think it's going to storm. So I guess that was unnecessary...
We are just trying to hold it all together here. Everyday is a struggle. It is SO exhausting to "act normal" all the time...not that I actually can but I do try. I try very hard to be as positive as I can or at least fake it. I know Jed would want me to work hard at trying to make the best life I could possibly have.....it will never be what it was. I will always, forever be sad. I will always be missing a very large part of me. I will also never be the person I was before but I have to try to move forward, learn to live with my life the way it is now. I don't know if I can, I also know I won't want to all the time. I will have bad days and VERY bad days but I still have to try. It has only been 3 months. In some ways it feels like 100 years and in other ways I am almost positive he is in his room watching Family Guy. It all sucks, every little bit of it. I look at Peg and know she has been without her son for 22 years and her daughter for almost 20... I cannot even imagine. It is not something I am capable of understanding. I DON't WANT TO DO THIS....but I have too. shit....hate it.
I think it's going to storm pretty good soon. Hopefully it will put out the fire where ever Savannah and Kyle are....I think they might be in Maryland but am not sure....I know I should know, I'm sure she told me but I just can't remember. She should be calling soon with a fire update. Hopefully they are headed home.
Jeddie Spaghetti Mommy loves you. Not having you here to take care of and hang out with is horrible. When I went to the gym this morning I was on the treadmill watching Adult swim....meatwad was on. The neighbor guy on that show, Carl,...he is so gross. I know people think I'm crazy watching that weird cartoon at 4:30 am laughing while I try to breath and pretend I am working out. I can hear you in my head giggling the whole time. Love you, miss you, can't wait to see you and hug you.
Love J & K
I swear there is a bird that is whistling just like Jed would do when he stuck his head out of his window!!!