Saturday, January 16, 2010

hey, so I am writing this from Jamestown, NY. It is much colder up here..duh. I am with Savannah and my mom. Why...well..tomorrow we are headed to Lily Dale here in NY. Lily Dale is a village of Mediums and Spiritualists. It was established in 1879. We are going there to meet with a medium/spiritualist. I HAVE to find someone that can assure me that Jed is ok. All my dreams are horrible and I have this sense that something is not right. I know, nothing is right but I am afraid of where Jed is. I need to know he is not lost or alone or in pain and most of all.... not scared. I am very worried that he is scared. I have no idea what will happen tomorrow. My appointment is at 10 and will be for 45 minutes. Mom's is after mine. If I leave here with no more sense of how Jed is then I will be back. There is an entire village of people here that are said to have the ability to see and speak to the spirit of people that are gone. I am sure to a group of you this sounds crazy..that I should just believe he is in heaven or whatever. I cannot "just believe". I cannot just stop taking care of him and just "believe" or hope he is somewhere better. So I guess to me the thought that you can just "believe" your loved one is ok is as hard for me to do as it is for you to believe someone can talk to Jed and assure me he is ok. Different strokes, hey it would be boring if we were all the same.
I am worried about Danny being home alone. He and Dad had dinner together tonight but they both went home to empty homes. Our house, even with the 3 of us in it, is very empty. Without Savannah and I there I am sure it is almost unbearable. We will be home tomorrow evening. I have this anxiousness to get home, I have had that feeling for so many years that I don't think it will ever go away. Over the last years, the few times I have been away from Jed, all I could think of was getting home and making sure that he was ok. Even in the middle of having a great time with Savannah (she is the only reason I ever went away from him for anything) my mind was always worrying and ready to get home. Now I have no reason to feel that way but I think I always will. .
I guess that is all for now. I'll let you all know if anything interesting happens tomorrow.
Love J & K

6 comments:

Anonymous said...

May this trip give you the answers that you are looking for. It is not crazy Kristin...your feelings are yours to own, no matter what anyone else may think. You deserve peace of mind. I will pray that this trip gives this to you.

Anonymous said...

We all deeply hope that you find the answers that you so desperately need. Whatever it takes to put your mind even a little bit at ease is worth every minute of trying. Be true to yourself and don't worry about what anyone (other than those whose are most important you) think or say!

dansworld said...

Kristin, I love you. I hope that you get some answers. I just want you to have some peace. It is very early in our mourning. Jed is such a good boy I can not imagine him having to suffer anymore. I love you Darling. Be safe. I will see you when you get home. Tell Sr and Linda I love them too. One thing Jed has taught me is you can never tell the ones you love, "I love you", enough. Daannnnnnnyyyyy!

Anonymous said...

Kristin.....i'm so excited for you. I wish for you an amazing 45 minutes. There is a local medium that I just love....you know....you heard me call in to her on the radio that one day. I believe them. I truly do. She was actually on the radio on friday...i spent about 2 hours trying to call in just to see if she could find or hear anything from jed. And then Mom told me what you're doing and I had this crazy sense...OMG....Jed wants us to hear something....My feeling is he's trying to contact us in some crazy cosmic way to say...STOP it...i'm good.......that is my crazy cosmic hope anyway. I will be thinking of you ALL day today. Much love Meg

Anonymous said...

YOU ARE NOT CRAZY, WHATEVER HELPS YOU IS THE RIGHT THING TO DO
GO INTO THIS WITH A COMPLETELY OPEN MIND
I'LL BE THINKING OF YOU
PATTI

Anonymous said...

Just trust in the Lord and He will give you peace.