Baby Jed....



I'm sure I put this picture up before...but look at him. Oh my goodness.
I am supposed to be reading and studying but...I have a focus issue. The weather was yucky today. Cold, raining , definitely not my kind of weather.
School tomorrow. I have a project I am working on for Business Law. I have to interview someone then relate their job to law. Of course who did I pick.....pediatric oncology nurses. Shelly, one of our 7 west nurses, very graciously said she would answer my questions and make it a team effort. Thanks Shelly. The way I am relating it to law is to get answers to all the things I wondered about. How do the nurses handle custody disputes, juvenile offenders, foster children, religious issues and things like that. The only thing I am worried about is that I have to also do a presentation....not quite sure how I will do that. I remember when Jed was off treatment and I did a speech on THON for my Cass class....I made it to the end and then started to cry. I know for a fact that unless I keep it completely away from personal experiences I will not even make it 2 minutes much less 8-10. So I have to figure out a way to do this presentation and keep it all together. UGH, I don't think you should ever be required to do any kind of presentation in front of a class unless your major is communications or teaching where it would be important. It's not fair to those of us that just do not have that type of personality. I wonder if I could take Savannah with me to do the actual presentation...I could be the "director". Oh and to make it even better, this is the professor that YELLS all the time. If you answer a question, even if you are right he will yell. For some reason I don't like yelling anymore....it is hard for me to take. Maybe I will have to take something to make me feel lovely that day. I would rather slur and make it through than to speak clearly and fall apart. What have I gotten myself into? I don't even know what KIND of presentation to do. Fun Fun.
We are really into the final stages of the luncheon. Still waiting on a few last minute donations. The Avon clan sent us an IPOD Nano...the new one with the touch screen!! Awesome...thank you guys so much. We go this week to pick up a painting from the lovely Adrienne Stein..she is fabulous and so very kind to donate a painting,,,OMG how cool is that? I am so excited about it. Here is the link to her website.
http://www.adriennestein.com/Adrienne_Stein/Home.html
She is incredible.
I have to go back to studying now. I really need to sit down and scan in some pictures so I don't keep using ones I know you have already seen...but it is SO hard to look at them that I keep putting it off.
I am really looking forward to seeing everyone on Oct 2nd. Family, friends (old and new), PSU family and of course clinic/hospital family. I hope a lot of you come. PLEASE come....how pathetic is that??!!
Jeddie my love....I seem to be having some trouble keeping it all together lately. Everything seems a bit pointless and everything is SO hard. I know I have to keep going and do something but I wish I knew what. I just have NO idea because all I want ....is you. When people say "appreciate what you have instead of worrying about what you can't have", I don't think those people are missing their kids. Because that is impossible for those of us trying to adjust to our altered lives. To work so hard, for so long. To have such hope and then for it all to be gone, it is almost impossible to explain the feelings that go with this. I just miss you. AAHH Eminem is on the VMA's. All I can see is you walking around the house saying, "my name is, my name is, my name is ...Slim Shady"
Mommy Loves You....
Love J & K