May 2008



I got a new phone today and I put this picture on it as the wallpaper. I was looking at it and I am floored by how different I look today compared to just two years ago. Amazing. But I guess since I feel like a completely different person I should look different.



Savannah and I had dessert at the Saloon tonight. As usual people were looking at us like we were crazy as we sat there laughing hysterically about stupid things and both using our phones at the same time. Savannah said we should have brought our laptops and found a TV then it would be just how we sit in the kitchen!....well, except the saloon has way better desserts.
It is cold here tonight. I don't like it at all but it is supposed to warm up as the week goes on. Someone has a fire going, I can smell it.
Danny is in Oroville with his family. Tomorrow they are having a barbecue somewhere. He sounds tired when he calls but he is happy to be with his son and the rest of the family.
That's all I think.
Jeddie, I woke up this morning so sad....well I'm always sad but worse this morning. I thought today was September 3rd....but nope that was yesterday! I think maybe you fixed it so I was a day behind, because on the 3rd I was busy all day and spent the eve with the Smith/Zooks. I didn't realize I was a day behind until I bought my new phone this afternoon. I told the guy at the phone store that the date on the phone was wrong...hahahaha..no it was just me. Thanks Jeddie. I still am missing you so so so much but it was good to get past that day without knowing. The last few days I have had these heart piercing moments of clarity. Every detail of the last 5 days with you is so vivid in my mind. It is like a video loop through my head...more than normal. The more current pictures are harder for me to look at right now. They make me feel shredded and almost panicky. This REALLY is happening. I guess as time goes on and you don't come back or I don't wake up from my nightmare the truth is going to become more real. I don't want that. ...I don't really get to choose though. I guess I will just try to keep going...again I don't really have much of a choice do I? Did you watch the game today? Dumb question. Savannah and I watched....we are very glad they won but it just wasn't the same in this house. I hope you are celebrating with all the other PSU fans up there with you. Mommy Loves You ...so very much.
Love J & K