Oh what a pair....



Studying, studying, studying....I need better lighting in my kitchen before I go blind. A fireplace would be great too...it's freakin' cold.
Danny talked me into a ride today. I'm glad he did. If not I would not have moved from this chair. The weather was beautiful. Not too cold. Great riding weather. It's ok for it to be like this once in awhile but I would be much happier if it stayed in the high 80's. Guess I'm outta luck with that. Yuck.
I am watching Divine Design....and guess what....the house they are in belongs to a ..wait for it , wait for it...oh yeah, a pediatric oncologist...WTH..I cannot escape...ever.
While we were out riding I had this thought...what if we pulled into the driveway at The Ranch (my family's home for over 30 years) and when we pulled in it was nine years ago. Then maybe we could do this all again and things would be different. Different decisions, maybe different outcomes. Many "what ifs", "I wish", "turn left instead of right", "choose that not this", "do this now not later". I know a complete waste of energy but, well whatever. wow if I could write better that would be a cool book...way too depressing to read though.

Anyway I am just trying very hard to not study....but I so need to study. Things don't seem to stay in my head very well.

My funny friend, I would never make you go through it all again. Even if it meant I could be your mom again....raise my kids again. I would not do that to you...so I can't even wish you home. Ugh, big deep breath, so the luncheon things are coming along. Still lots to do but we are getting there. I hope it turns out well. Savannah is working so very hard. Well, not at this second. At this second she is in Happy Valley. We don't want to know what she is doing :) As long as she is having fun and being 19 a bit. Um. maybe you could check on her? Missing you baby Jed, every minute of every day....every second of every night.
Mommy Loves You.
Love J & K