August 2009

Originally uploaded by kbuckley69

My beach buddies at one of Jed's fave places...Hoopers.
So today I got papers in the mail from Harley....it was a written version of my verbal absentee discipline....but added to it was also a real written discipline....saying I was given 2 extra points for not showing up to work on Monday!!! AAAHHH, oh yeah way to save money and time Harley Davidson....My union steward took care of it for me....
Along with lovely mail from Harley Davidson was a big envelope addressed to The Parents Of Jedediah Smith....from Hershey Med Center. It was a packet of papers asking me to allow Jed to participate in a liver disease study. He was chosen because he had a few ultra sounds on his liver. They made sure to assuage my fears by letting me know that Jed DOES NOT have liver disease. Hey thanks people.......anyway I called Dr. Spanier...any relation to PSU Spanier? he was on vacation..of course... but the person that answered the phone will pass my message on to him. I told her my son could not participate because he DIED in that hospital 6 months ago this Saturday. She said "thank you I will pass that information on"...really?? I try very hard to not take my misery out on undeserving people..but really?? F you lady.
When we were in the hospital in December I received a letter from my insurance company saying that Jed's liver transplant was approved........aaaahhh we all got a huge giggle out of that. Jed's comment..."that liver I got must be from England cause I am cravin' fish and chips". He told everyone that line.
After receiving all that great pertinent mail I decided that the roses do not need to be trimmed and the laundry can wait until tomorrow. I took my book....George Anderson's We Are Not Forgotten...stories from the other side...and hung out on my big comfy bed on my porch for the rest of the day. It was either that or I start screaming and not stop. I opted for the book.
Savannah and I dumped more grass seed at the cemetery and watered it all. At some point I will have thick soft grass free from ants.
Good night baby Jed. I have been watching America's Got Talent. Just is not the same without you. Your critique makes it all so much more entertaining. Nothing is the same without you. My Dr asked today how I was doing....I said every day sucks bad and most days suck even more than that..and for some reason I keep waking up everyday. I am missing you more than I can explain to people and really no one can understand. Being ripped away from you is unbearable. Keep sending me signs that your near me..and come visit me in my dreams. Mommy loves you
Love J & k