September 2007

032
Originally uploaded by kbuckley69

Jed and his dog friend Bobby. There were 2 things that could get Jed out of bed, bingo and Wednesday evening dog therapy. I knew he was really feeling bad when he would skip one or both of those. This dog was one of his favorites. There was also a bloodhound, a golden retriever & a little thing...he wasn't wild about the little one because it was too hard to bend down that far to pet it! He is also wearing his favorite hat in this picture. It was the first hat I ever knitted and he wore a hole in it. Now it is on his pillow in his room.
His little brother should have gotten the light saber Savannah and I sent him for his birthday. I know Jed would have wanted him to have it. I hope he gets it and gets to keep it....but I have no control over that. We sent it, that's as much as we can do.
I just watered my grass seed again. I also trimmed the grass again today. I noticed that where there was already grass before, my grass seed is growing...under that grass. But where there was just dirt....still no grass. So it is super duper thick or completely bald. Of course it is.
UM, why are the Jersey shore stupid people ringing the opening bell on Wall Street? Good God that is the dumbest thing ever....no wonder the stock market sucks...who put them there?
As you can tell....I have no life. But hey, I had no kitchen sink leaks and I didn't spill any paint today so I guess it was an ok day. I even vacuumed....yay me.
When I write this I spend more time staring blankly into space than I do actually writing. What am I thinking about when I stare blankly into space?....nothing..absolutely nothing. I like it that way.
Jeddie, your long, elegant, beautiful fingers are on my mind today. I held those fingers a lot over our 12 years together. You used to rub my forehead when I had a headache. You'd rub for a bit and then you'd say, "ok, there, now it's better" and it always was. Now it will never be better. Empty...I just feel empty without you here, The missing is so deep there is no bottom. Keep holding me up Jed, I cannot do it without you. I need you to help me keep going.
Mommy Loves you
Love J & K

Just after I posted this Savannah forwarded me a message from a girl that was at camp with Jed 2 years ago. If she gives me permission I will post it here. It is just a lovely story from a lovely girl...about a beautiful boy.