When I actually let the fog clear I realize the true horror living without Jed is. I hate when that fog clears. It is just misery. Why do I have to do this? I walked to the cemetery and on the way back I saw a family walking. They had 3 boys...3 of them. They were laughing and jumping around. They had 3 and I can't even keep my 1? For a second I am resentful, the next second I am angry and the next second I am just devastated. That is where I seem to stay. This is not getting better. I know we are here to learn lessons and we are to be rewarded when we get where we're going....well let me tell you, I better get huge freakin' brownie points for living with this pain. I just want my son.
Ok, so on a completely unrelated note this is a picture of my dog trying to get the Jack Russel on the other side of the fence.
He has grabbed a paw before but it belonged to the rottweiler and she wouldn't fit under the fence. Thank god. Every time my dog goes out if the neighbor dogs are out he goes nuts. I have to run out and take his picture. He is terrified of the camera so he slinks inside. What a pain in the A@#.
So how was that for changing the subject? I am pretty good at being random. But that's it for tonight.
Good night baby love. Missing you........such small words for such huge pain.
Mommy Loves you.....always
Love J & K
1 comment:
as always, your strength to keep going amazes me. love kait
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