Yesterday Mom, Savannah and I went to see my Gram. I was worried that she would not know who we were because she has been fading in and out. That worry was completely unfounded. She wasn't in her room. Her nurse told us she had a PT appointment. We went on the hunt... We found her in the basement. Mom looked through a small window in a door and spotted Gram in there. She was doing her workout while entertaining all the nurses. They were giggling with her. I looked through the window. When she looked up & saw me her eyes immediately lit up. She knew me right away. Savannah looked over my head and she knew her right away too. The three of us went in for a few minutes and said hi. Gram looked at mom and said "smile Linda" !! It was such a relief to see her looking and sounding so good. I really think that being with other people is very good for her. Her mind needs that stimulation. Now I know where Jed got his "bounce back" from! Just when you start to really worry she rallies.



This picture has nothing to do with anything I just LOVE it.

Today Savannah and I went to my school to get my id badge and pick up my books. In true Kristin fashion I forgot my car registration. They would not let me get my ID badge without registering my car. Dorks. At PSU York I didn't have to register my car. I guess because I only took night classes. Ugh, then again in the great Kristin way...I didn't know I needed my confirmation email to pick up my books. Sometimes my flakiness even irritates me. Thank god the guy in the book warehouse was very nice and took care of it for me. :) I now have all my books and I have the 1st 2 weeks of school to get my badge and car tag. When we left there we went across the street to subway and got subs to take to......Hershey Med. Yes I ended up back there today. Savannah's friend Jaz went into the PICU today and she asked to see Savannah. It ended up being a much better visit than I anticipated. Jaz had a lung biopsy and they found no bleeding but she does have some kind of infection. They have to wait and see what grows in the cultures. Christ I wonder how many times in 8 years I have written that. Anyway Jaz was happy to see Savannah and it helped perk her up a bit. There is a chance she might even be back home (on 7 west) by late tonight. Like I said, much better than I had thought it would be. I also got to see some people I hadn't seen in a long time. I saw Carol, our nurse in the OR. She has been there for just about all Jed's spinals. Jed really really loves Carol. The very few times she was out on a spinal tap day Jed made sure everyone in the room...including the Dr. knew that they HAD to do stuff the way Carol did!! I cannot stress enough how important having that familiar face was to Jed. When he saw Carol he knew that she knew him and what worked best. His anxiety level was almost nonexistent with her in there. He would get ready and then he'd say "here comes the white stuff, by mommy, peace out"!! and off into lala land he would go. Carol always brought "her kids" seashells and things from her vacations. I have them all. This past Christmas she gave Jed an ornament that says hope. I cannot tell you how much that meant at that time and still does.
As I was sitting with Jaz's parents I was thinking....I wonder what it's like to be one of those families with just normal crap to worry about? I don't think I remember being one of those families that don't even THINK about kids being sick...I mean really sick. I wonder what that is like....to live your life without that cloud.
Anyway. I am hoping Jaz gets back to 7 West tonight or tomorrow morning. The connection Savannah has with her is wonderful...and a bit scary.
Again, I was pretty ok being there....it was leaving that makes my heart beat so fast it hurts. I would love to just lay on the floor and sob in front of the elevator, but, well that is not my style...and it's about the last thing those parents and nurses need. So I just put my head down and go. All the frantic stuff just swirls around inside.
It rained so freakin' hard on the way home I don't know how Savannah could see to drive. We got home and they said on the news to stay off the turnpike.....of course right where we had just come from! There was flooding, yeah..duh we saw that! It wasn't raining that hard here. But it was enough that I didn't water my grass tonight. When we got in the car to leave the hospital it was 3:33. Then Jed's favorite All American Rejects song came on the radio and when we pulled into mom and dad's it was 4:44. I think Jed was telling us he approved of our visit...and that he was along for the ride too.
Speaking of signs from Jed, Savannah and I are going to see George Anderson on Sept 9th on Long Island. I have read all his books. He is the medium that all the mediums go to. He is amazing. Yes, it costs a fortune, money that I do not have but I don't care. If this guy can talk to Jed...I need to talk to this guy. Please don't tell me if you think I'm crazy...I don't care. I am excited. It's a Thursday and as I said the other day I decided to change my schedule so all my classes are Monday and Wednesday! Savannah on the other hand will miss school.....but she's like smart and stuff so she will be ok.
Jaz's parents told me today that one of our fellows, Dr. Mikey, wants to come to Jed's luncheon. I am so happy and hope he does. If we have a bunch of people from Hershey there I will be thrilled.

AAHHH funny kid. This was in Oakland, Ca 2001. I love how he is making this face like it is the most normal thing in the world.
So I have babbled a very long time. 7 West nurse Carol, I guess I have to come up there at midnight to see you! Maybe you can come to Jed's luncheon? Shelly I hope you get Jaz back tonight. Kami, it was good to see you but as group leader you should schedule yourself off for October 2nd! O.R. Nurse Carol....I hope to see you on the 2nd. ( we have 3 nurse Carols) :)
Everyone send Jaz lots of good vibes and healing energy. Also send Trish, Pete and their chunka love baby boy some love and good vibes too. They are just trying to be permanent parents to that sweet little man and it has been a roller coaster. Keep Iysis' family in your thoughts too as they make their way through this hell.
Jed, you were very busy today. Savannah and I know you were with us ALL day. Thank you. I can't have what I want but I know you are giving me enough to keep me going....even if I'm not sure whether I want to or not.
Mommy loves you Baby Jed....always and forever, more and more everyday.
Love J & K